


Past life

by KingDevina



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:40:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9258371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingDevina/pseuds/KingDevina
Summary: Fenris has been very vain about his life with danarius, there were many things that he didn't let Hawke know and when Hawke chose Anders over him he felt no need to share any more information on the topic, but when a woman from his past with the same lyrium markings that fenris has appears  there are many questions from both Hawke and this mysterious woman from fenris' past.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a very long time since I wrote anything, fan fiction or other wise so bear with me, I got this idea after reading a few other fan fictions about gender swapped fenris. I took the idea and ran with it. I hope you enjoy :)

** part one  **

  
Hawke's ragtag band of misfits gathered outside of the slaver caves in the wounded coast, one of the many they were searching for a multitude of reasons. the first was the most glaringly obvious he was sick to death of slavers hunting him, he'd thought that by now word would have spread among them that hunting him was signing their death warrant but it appeared that the lure of coin always outweighed the threat of losing their life. another reason was he was sick of making his friends-- minus that god awful abomination, fight his battles for him. they'd left him alone before but after they attacked him on the wounded coast while they tried to help Aveline in her unusual courtship of guardsmen Donnic and finding out it was Hadriana that had sent them, that had been the last straw. instead of waiting for them to attack him , he and Hawke had decided it would be them who struck and they would clear out every slave cave until he found Hadriana and crushed that bitches heart with his bare hands. they all prepared making sure their swords and daggers and for Varric; Bianca were properly prepared for the battle. They knew what awaited them in the cave. He couldn't help the small twinge of jealousy that wound through him at seeing Hawke and the abomination stare lovingly into each others eyes, smiling sweetly at each other and whispering more than likely sweet nothings. he unsheathed his blade that was strapped to his back and cleared his throat, they looked up. Varric walking along side him caressing Bianca in that unnerving way that he does.  
"ready?" she asked, all Fenris could do was nod. he could accept that fact that it wasn't him that she had chosen, it wasn't him who she decided to invite into her bed, it was the abomination and it might be for the best he was almost certain it would end in tragedy, he'd hurt her, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. he took a deep breath. the abomination would probably be easier to love, but Fenris, he was so broken or damaged that it was literally etched into his skin.

The cave was damp and dark and smelled of mold and blood there were soft echoes of people talking and laughing and scuffling about, subtle dripping of the dew off the damp walls and the cracking of the sticks and leaves that litter the cave floor under their feet as they took each step. as they walked through the cave moving from opening to opening dwelling deeper and deeper the voices becoming less muffled. before long their voices became clear and the group paused to listen  
"it should be an easy job, just grab the little knife ear knock him out and get him back to the Imperium and soon we'll be swimming in coin" one of the slavers said  
"i'm not so sure" another added cautiously "i heard that, that knife ear killed the first slavers that came after him"  
"eh" one of them spat his voice like nails on a chalk board "that's only cause he had that Fareldan dog bitch helping him," Fenris shot a glance to Hawke who only laughed at the horrid name they had called her  
"we separate him from her, get and he's as good as ours"  
"the only problem with that" Fenris hadn't even noticed that Hawke had walked ahead of them and entered the chamber in which the slavers were and unsheathed her dual blades "is he's never really ever away from me" without a moment to spare she attacked slicing through one of the 12 slavers that were in the small cavern, _venhedis woman_ he thought as he charged in after Varric fallowed by Anders, he made quick work of the first slaver that charged him striking him straight through the gut and twisting his blade, the man made a gurgling sound before falling to the ground with a soft thud, another slaver tried to flank him from behind but he just used his clawed armor gloves and sliced through the mans throat. with another swing of his sword he'd cut through another two slavers and it wasn't until Fenris turned did he notice another 5 or 6 slavers rush in from another opening in the cavern, a few soon over took Anders and the abomination fell to the ground unconscious. Varric was standing his own but he could tell the dwarf was running out of stamina. must be hard _running around on such tiny legs_. but before he could even take a single step in his direction he heard a gentle swooshing sound and a flash of something fly past his head and watched as daggers landed in each of the slavers around Varric, some in the chests or in their eyes or straight into their forehead. they collapsed collectively, he turned to see where the blades had come from, he knew Hawke dual wielded weapons she didn't use throwing daggers and he doubted Isabela did as well along with that fact that she wasn't with them on this little excursion. as he turned he saw someone cloaked in black, a hood covering their face and thick black cloak shielding their body, he didn't have time to assess them more as he heard a slaver running up behind him. turning he sunk his blade into their stomach and let them fall and continued to clear out the rest of the slavers with the help of the cloaked person, when everything was said and done and Hawke had finished looting the bodies and reviving Anders they all turned to stare at the unknown person standing in the corner of the cavern, the chest visibly heaving up and down.  
"well thank you for you assistance" Hawke said at long last breaking the rather awkward yet intense silence, Fenris didn't know why, and although couldn't see from how low the hood hung over their face but he could tell that they were staring at him. Could feel their eyes barring into him, examining him and he did the same although there was not much to see because of the overbearing cloak.  
"it was my pleasure serah Hawke" the person inclined their head almost as if bowing to Hawke, that voice, it sounds so familiar, he knows that voice ,panic slithered up his spine, he searched his mind to find it, he had thought of nothing but his freedom for so long that everything else was pushed to the back of his mind. there was silence as Fenris had his internal struggle trying so very hard to place that voice but it was eluding him, he couldn't do it not without a face.  
"i feel a bit at a disadvantge, you know my name, and well my face and i have no idea who you are" Hawke stated  
the person stepped forward allowing the sliver or sunlight that made its way through a crack in the roof of the cavern shine on them, they slowly reached a hand up and removed her hood standing before them , and like water rushing through a broken damn the memory of who exactly that voice belonged to came crashing back to him as his green eyes met her bright blue ones  
"Hel" he said softly stepping toward her, she inclined her head as if bowing something he knew she did by habit "Fenris" she said, her tone icy  
"you two know each other?" Hawke cocked an eyebrow  
Fenris' eyes examined her for a moment, she was different than he remembered her, clearly she was older, her wine red hair had grown from shoulder length to cascading down her back just above her bottom, her skin almost glowed golden brown,  
"yes" Fenris finally spoke "she...was another one a Danarius' slaves"  
there was a collective gasp as the others stared at her in disbelief  
"but" he heard anders stutter "but she's a human"  
"your very perspective" Hel stated staring at the Abomination then at the staff on his back "never figured you to be one to run around with Mages Fenris" she said looking in his direction  
"Great" Anders said sounding a bit more frustrated than usual "another mage hater"  
"i do not hate you mage, for i do not know you, however i do not trust you and it has nothing to do with your gift, i was simply stating that given how much Fenris despises your kind I find it hard to believe he travels with one," she said her face almost emotionless "however based on your reaction to my statement, i'd assume that he does indeed still hate Mages"  
"with the intensity of Andreste's flame" Fenris added throwing a side ways glance at Anders.  
"it is an honor to fight with you serah" Hel said step toward Hawke  
"like-wise any friend of Fenris' is a friend of mine" Hawke said eyeing her up and down then looking over to her elvhen companion  
"not sure i would consider us friends, but we certainly are not enimies, i however would like to offer my services to you, i am a skilled fighter and have knowlege of other slave caves along with the location of the magister you are currently searching for" Hel stated.  
"Hadriana? You know where hadriana is?" fenris asked, but Hel seemed to ignore his presence all together while still answering the question he posed, she didnt look at him just kept her eye contact with hawke  
"the magister you seak is in a slave cave just up the mounatin not too far from this one, however seeking her out at this point would assuradly be a suicide mission"  
"and why is that?" Hawke asked  
"tal-veshoth, they also hold one of the slave caves near where the magister is, i believe she hired them to protect the outisde of the cave that she is in, in the event that a certain tiventer fugitive were to try and attack. i would like to assist you in not only taking on the tal veshoth but in hunting down the magister as well."  
"why would you want to do that?" Hawke questioned  
"i have a bone to pick with her as well." Hel stated matter-of-factly  
"i could alway use another sword...or blades...or staff, whatever it is that you do" Hawke said playfully  
"i'm a women of all trades"  
"very well, i am set to clear off the tal-vashoth threat that you speak of anyway so i suppose it couldnt hurt to have you there, however i am very tired and i could use a drink"  
"seconded" varric called out as he looked around the cave  
"third" Anders added  
"so i suppose we'll handle it tomorrow, you are more than welcome to join us at the hanged man" Hawke offered "for a drink"  
" I need to stop by my hide out once we're back in the city after that i will meet you at the hanged man" Hel nodded  
"alright, lets head out" Hawke turned on her heels and made her way out of the cave followed by Anders, Varric and Hel Fenris fell into line. He hadn't thought of Hel since his escape he couldn't bring himself to do it. the girl was so young when she was purchased by Danarius, placed as another body guard although not to the same 'status' as Fenris. she was to guard the manor and Fenris was to guard the Magister, after a long while in ownership of Danarius he thought that they had grown close the only one of the slaves that he had let slightly in. when the other slaves would give her a hard time for being the human dog of the house he would protect her, he couldn't help it and when he escaped he pushed all thoughts of her out of his mind, less the guilt foolishly lead him back to Tevinter to try to liberate her. that same guilt he had buried deep within him was snaking its way back into him, churning in his stomach thick and heavy. he finally followed once he realized that he was alone in the cavern catching up with the party, walking along side Hel silently as they made their way back to Kirkwall. Hel's eyes were locked on the ground a habit he knew she couldn't break from all her years in slavery and he couldn't help but wonder how long she had it had been since she had escaped.  
"when did you escape?" he asked quietly, as if he were afraid of the others hearing. she didnt say anything at first just kept up her long strides and kept her head down  
"a year ago" she answered after a few minutes  
"How did you escape?"  
"i did and that's all that mattered" she picked up her pace quickly leaving Fenris behind. he watched her in shock, her words almost mirrored his own when Hawke had asked him the same question three years ago and now he realized how cold those words sounded. he couldn't blame her for giving him the cold shoulder, she more than likely felt like he abandoned her, He left her behind to seek a life that had no room for her to slow him down. he let out a frustrated sigh and continued on his way to Kirkwall.

Sitting around the table in the hanged man Fenris listened to Varric telling tales of dragon slaying in the bone pit and destroying myths in the deep roads. they had gathered together Hawke sitting at the end of the table whispering to Anders and Merrill and isabela were on the left side of them, Isabela trying once again to explain to Merrill that the point of Wicked Grace was to lie, Varric speaking to some drunken bar patrons as they listened with wide eyes to the riviting tale. and Fenrs, he sat at the other end of the table nursing his mug of sour ale that tainted his tongue, taking a long draw he couldnt help his eyes from darting around to find Hel, he had to make up leaving to her, he had to explain that it was his only chance and consiquences be damned he had to take it, she'd understand, if she had been in the same situation she would have taken the chance without a second thought for him, he knew she would have. she couldnt stay mad at him forever. she'd seen what life with danarius was like for him, as his pet on a leash, yes she was his slave but she was only a body guard outside of his front door, she couldnt have possibly known the torment he'd gone through at the hands of the magister and once he reminded her of that, he was sure she'd understand she'd have to.  
when she did finally appear all thoughts of forgiveness and forcing her to understand were struck from his brain, her long black cloak was gone and she was stressed in a loose fitting black tunic and black leather pants. when she approached the table the chatter happening around it grew quiet as all eyes fell on her, mouths open. Fenris' eyes traveled her body her arms her neck what little part of her chest that was exposed and her chin were marked with lyrium tattoos similar to Fenris'. subtle differences in design but they were lyrium tattoos no doubt. anger swelled in his belly as he stared at her once perfect brown skin marred by the same blighted marks that were on his skin. the companions around the table looked from her, to him and then back again. when she cleared her throat everyone realized how incredibly rude they were being and Hawke was the first to correct the situation  
"Hel, please sit down"  
Hel pulled out a chair and carefully sat down in it. folding her hands lightly on the table, trying to look as nonthreatening as possible, Fenris recognized that behavior all too well. Isabela eyed Hel the same lustful way Fenris had caught her eyeing him the first time they met.  
"your name is Hel?" Isabela asked  
"It is"  
"what a lovely name" isbela turned her body so she was no longer facing Merrill, but Hel  
"thank you" Hel said flat toned  
"so you were one of Danarius' slaves too?" Merrill asked leaning back so she could see the new commer to the table  
"i was"  
"he's not good at holding onto his property" Isabela commented  
"i suppose not"  
"how do you like Kirkwall Hel?" Varric asked each of them clearly trying to avoid the elephant in the room  
"its like any other city ive seen although the Qunari are a nice twist"  
"Qunari and nice?" Hawke raised an eyebrow "you have a weird idea of a good time"  
"what can i say i love the horns"  
there was a silence as each companion stared at her, then at each other before laughter erupted from the table  
"but wouldn't the horns hurt?" Merrill asked  
"oh Merrill kitten shhh, adults are talking" Isabela began to pet her head  
"alright i cant stand it i have to ask" Anders said slamming his hands on the table Making all eyes snap toward him  
"those are lyrium markings?"  
her body went stiff for a moment before she nodded "they are"  
"i thought Danarius had only branded Fenris with those"  
there was an awkward silence as everyone stared at Fenris nervously.  
"i don't see how that's any of your business mage" Fenris all but snarled  
"its my business, if Danarius is after you for some other reason besides those markings you claim are oh so unique, if every slave has them then--"  
"they don't" Hel finally cut in "just Fenris, and I"  
"why you?" Varric questioned  
"because Fenris left"  
guilt punched him in the gut so hard he actually let out a breath as his eyes snapped to her.  
"He needed a new pet to replace the one that had escaped"  
Hawke had a look of disgust on her face as she muttered "that monster"  
"so that means you don't remember your life before slavery either?" Merrill asked  
"no" she said pulling her hands in her lap "i do"  
finally for the first time since she had arrived at the hanged man she looked at Fenris and his blood ran cold with the intensity of her gaze.  
"i remember everything"  
"then how did a human become a tevinter slave"  
as quickly as she glanced at him she looked away and looked at Hawke who asked the question. then slowly moved to Merrill  
"Aneth Era" she said softly with a warm smile on her face, Merrill's big eyes went wider and she stood up  
"you are Dalish?"  
"i am"  
"but your human, i dont understand, the dalish don't take humans, into the clan they dont even like half human half dalish children living in the camp, how?" the young elf began to ramble and if not for isabela tugging her by the sleeve it would have continued  
"indeed i am human, but i was raised in a camp until i was ten"  
"how is that possible?" Varric asked  
"Keeper Hawen was wondering the Arbor Wilds one night, he didn't know what had lead him to wonder from the settlement that they had made not far from the entrance of the wilds but, he found himself there, just wondering almost as if the creators were guiding his feet, soon he came upon the Alter of Mythal, he was frightened for he knew the temple of Mythal was close by, unwilling to disturb the sacred place he turned to leave when he heard a baby crying, when he walked closer to the alter, he saw a shemlen baby, under the alter, the amulet of Mythal around its neck. that baby was me" she smiled warmly, a smile Fenris hadn't realized he'd missed so much until he saw it again "he picked me up and when he did a strong wind blew and he was struck with a vision, of the settlement burning, the halla catching deadly diseases, the Dalish perishing and realized that Mythal herself, was telling him to take me in, guard me with his life, so he took me in. the whole clan did. the only shem-human" she corrected looking from Isabela to Hawke respectfully "to be welcomed into a Dalish clan, they raised me until i was ten, we moved from place to place, i saw a lot of the world, and then one night, we were attacked by Tevinter slavers, they slaughtered the keeper and all who were older than i, they rounded up the children and sold us to Magisters in Tevinter, i was sold to Danarius,, he was the only one who could afford or was willing to pay such a high price for a human child slave, it was simply an added luxury that i was a human, it made him look more intimating that he had a human as a slave." as she finished speaking there was silence around the table, Hel watched them closing trying to judge their reactions , Hawke spoke first  
"the more you tell us about this Danarius the more i want to pop his head like a cherry"  
"me first" Fenris added.  
"so how did you escape?" Varric asked  
Hel looked down at her hands becoming visibly uncomfortable  
"thats enough questions for now dont you think?" Hawke stated waving over the Waitress and ordering a round for the table and a water for anders.  
"How about a game of wicked grace?" Varric offered  
"i'm in" Hel sat up quickly

Hel had proven to be a superior wicked grace player rivaling only Varric in her skill. she was able to make her face stone cold, and even Varric couldn't tell her hand or whether or not she was cheating. had Fenris not been sitting close to her he wouldn't have been able to tell, she even handled her drink better than most, she had had three mugs and was still able to hold a conversation with her speech only slightly slurred, after a long while she stood from the table, it was late into the night  
"i should go and get rest it was nice speaking with all of you i look forward to working together" with a wave of her hand, she turned and left the hanged man,  
"great we have a brood elf, and now we'll have a broody human, get a broody qunari and a broody dwarf and you'll have to whole set Hawke" Varric joked.  
"i do not brood" Fenris groaned  
"oh please, you and that girl are brooding masters, you could have broody babies named Broodster and Broodessa"  
Fenris rolled his eyes and took another draw of his ale. he stood  
"goodnight"  
"night broody"  
as fenris left the hanged man , he found his eyes darting back and fourth and he caught the slight glimpse of Hel heading toward dark town  
"Hel" he called out "wait" he ran to her slowing down as she turned to meet his gaze  
"what is it fenris"  
"your staying in dark town?"  
"no" she said hugging herself against the chilly night time air "i'm hiding in Darktown"  
"why?"  
"what do you mean why?"  
"is there nowhere else you can stay?" he asked  
"its not like i can afford a mansion in hightown"  
"stay with me"  
"what?" she cocked an eyebrow  
"stay with me, i live in hightown, it would be safe...i could--"  
"protect me?" she finished his sentence her tone icy "no thanks I've seen how well that goes for me when you don't feel like sticking around" she turned to walk away  
"Hel!" he called after her, but she didn't turn back, she just continued to dark town "Hel!" she was gone.

Fenris didn't sleep that night, instead he paced, back and forth in his mansion in front of the fire place, trying desperately not to snatch up the wine bottle that sat on the desk taunting him, singing a soft song of escape to him that he longed to rush to. it would easy, so easy to forget, to harden him self through angst and wine, pretend like her presence in Kirkwall bothered him not an ounce, but those eyes how cold and dark they were toward him and the icy tone in her voice was lingering in his mind. to just forget, he was rather good at forgetting, he even managed to forget her once before but now he was finding it impossible to get her out of his mind long enough to get a goodnight sleep. he'd need his energy.He faced Tal-Vashoth and Hadriana tomorrow, killing them all if he's lucky, but even that only took her from his mind for but a few minutes. why was this bothering him so much. more than likely because he spend his time pushing all thoughts of Tevinter from his mind including her, deep into the depths of his mind. he had forgotten about her, that he couldn't deny, he couldn't blame her for being mad. with a quick turn he locked eyes on the bottle losing the tug of war with his conscious and desires and rushing over to snatch the bottle from the table and bring it to his lips and as the sweet wine poured down his throat with that sweet slow burn he begged the liquid courage to at least dull his thoughts of her, make them less painful. his mind quickly began to fuzz after that, the room becoming warm his eyes becoming puffy as he stared into the roaring hearth and remembered how many times back in Tevinter had he done that same, just stared into a fire alone, feeling the thick leather color around his neck and felt nothing but cold emptiness that not even the flame could warm. he remember each of those times how Hel would sneak into Danarius' chamber where Fenris was forced to be when Danarius had no need of him, and gave him that warm smile and gently words, words of comfort and of caring. as he stared at the dark glass he couldn't help but think of how once he escaped and turned his back on her without a second thought, how he must have betrayed those few stolen moments. He sighed and took another drink. how could he ever forget...his first memory.


	2. Memories and Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He expected her to hate him...he just didn't expect to care so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys enjoyed the first part, feel free to leave comments if she love some feedback.

**Part Two Tevinter Imperium,** _15 years ago_

His skin, it burned that was the first thought that came crashing into his mind as he cracked one his eyes and light rushed in yanking him from what had previously been a deep slumber. the pain and how his body screamed it had been all he could think about, he took a deep breath and found that even that was painful as the thick smell of lyrium set fire to his lungs and he let out a pained groaning cough, the movement causing the pain to rip at his skin,   
"shh shh shh" a voice cooed and a gentle hand caressed his forehead, soft fingers brushing through his hair. he felt a cool rag touch his head and it felt a little like heaven, the cool against his burning hot skin, when his eyes adjusted he looked up at the human slave Danarius had bought 5 years earlier. seeing her now he found her unique, her odd shade of red hair that framed her delicate face, her skin darker than his by a few shades made her bright blue eyes appear that much light, even in the darkness of the room with the fire roaring behind her in the fire place he found her eyes intense and bright with worry. they were captivating.   
"it'd be best for you to not move, your markings are still very fresh" she warned softly  
"w-" he coughed finding his throat unbearably dry and the action of coughing made his body burn with pain "w-water...p-p-lease" he finally managed to get out   
"of course"she said, he heard a soft swooshing then felt cool water run over his lips and cascade down his tongue and slide down his throat, he almost moaned with pleasure.   
"how are you feeling?" she asked "I've done my best to dull the pain"   
this was dulled? this was agony. And exactly what crude, blood magic was she using to 'dull' his pain.   
"you are a mage then" he questioned with a little more venom in his voice than needed.   
"no" she chuckled a little "just a simple girl, but i learned a bit about healing herbs from the Dalish, master used to use me as a healer but now that he's hired a elf with the gift he finds i make a better body guard." she explained. though he paid little attention to the last of what she told him, how on earth did this girl get the Dalish to show her anything but their blades.   
He relaxed a bit more with the knowledge that she wasn't a mage and she was using no magic on him. he'd been stuck in this bed for days with her tending to him and this was the first time he was able to communicate with her. the first time he had woken into this nightmare he could barely recall where he was or what had happened to him. when she saw his panic in his eyes, she calmly explained. he was a slave, his name was Fenris. bits an pieces returned after that but not much.   
"here" she said softly bring something wooden up to his lips he could not see what it was. but he could smell that it had water. he opened his mouth and gulped down its contents ignoring the strange tang it had to it this time.   
"i put something in it to make you sleep. I've seen how much pain you are in when your awake, its best if i just keep you under until the markings heal more." she gave him a soft reassuring smile "ill try to keep you as comfortable as possible."

_  
Kirkwall, the wounded coast now_

Fenris sat on a rock in the wounded coast and ran the sharpening stone across his blade listening to the sound it made as it slid over the fine blade over and over. last night had been hell and the drink only brought back painful memories and he was honestly not in the mood to watch Hawke and Anders all over each other, honestly those two couldn't save it for the clinic, or Hawke's estate, their public displays of affection were growing tiresome and he didn't understand how a person could enjoy being touched that much. his skin ached at the thought of it.   
After a long while they heard soft footsteps, the crunch of the sand beneath their feet, he looked up to see an armor clad Hel walking up to them, red scaled armor, with sharp shoulder pauldrins that faded into a deep black. the armor spiraled around her arm and wrapping around her fingers in large black talons. her breastplate bore what appeared to be mighty dragon roaring on it, tight deep red at the top and black at the bottom armor pants hugged her lower body nicely. she also wore her cloak although she left it untied in the front, he saw the hilt of what appeared to be a rather large sword strapped to her back and as she passed Fenris without a single glance he found that it was not a sword but Maul crafted from a dragon tooth and painted red. An impressive weapon. although, Hel was petite she always had been, even some of the elves in Danarius' service had towered over her. hard to believe she was a human and not a dwarf. he couldn't imagine her being able to lift such a strong weapon. she walked up to Hawke and they exchanged a few words along with a laugh and then Hawke spoke up.   
"alright are we all ready?" she questioned   
"yeah how do you want to do this?" Anders asked   
"i want the two warriors up front, we're dealing with Tal-Vashoth so for us long distance fighters we need some sort of defense against them."  
Fenris stole a look at Hel who looked slightly uncomfortable with the idea but did not intend to argue it.   
"Varric in the middle, and Anders and I taking the rear" Anders and Varric giggled under there breath   
"oh Andras-" she playfully hit her mage "grow up you two" she barked and the stifled their laughing quickly.   
"lets move out"   
Hel fell quickly into position walking along side Fenris as they made their way up the wounded coast, He could hear Varric and Anders talking behind him, and laughing but he couldn't bring himself to join in the conversation. once again the woman at his side was distracting him. he couldn't help that every ten minutes he was sneaking a glance at her, he couldn't help that he wanted to make sure she was okay, he wanted to protect her whether she realized to or not. they eventually found the Tal-Vashoth cave before Fenris could unsheathe his his sword Hel was charging the two Tal Vashoth closest to them bringing the staff of her Maul to their faces and tackling them to the ground, her lyrium markings began to grow and with ferral scream she brought her Maul over her and smashed a Tal-Vashoth in the face with it. her eyes went wide and they glowed brightly and she was almost a blur of pale blue light as she spun around to knock out the charging Tal-Vashoth behind her, with a quick adjustment of her hand the staff of her Maul slipped slightly though her fingers and with the force of the dragon tooth on top slammed right through the eyes socket of the other Tal-Vashoth that lay at her feet. it took them a full minute to register what happened and another half a minute to jump to action quickly helping Hel out.   
As Hel attacked the few Tal-Vashoth to her left while Fenris took on the Tal-Vashoth to her right, slicing through them easier than he thought it would. he could hear each time smashing her maul into an enemies face or stomach, he found himself watching her and remembering the times after she had healed him from the markings, practicing in the courtyard of the manor with her, teaching her the proper footing the way to hold an move her arms, quick steps and sequences of moves that would best her enemy. he noticed that she was doing someone of them now. body lowered feet apart firm grip on the handle.

  
_ Tevinter 14 years ago _

  
"that's it" Fenris encouraged as the tiny human charged at him like an enraged druffulo. her lips turned up into a snarl, bringing her thin arms up to swing her Mual over her head and try to bring it down onto Fenris' head he easily dodged the attack but based on the sound it made when it hit the cobbled ground, she had put a lot of force into it, he smiled the little one had fire in her. but then he noticed that as she staggered from the failed attack her eyes were her wooden maul focusing on the placement of her hands the the firmness of her grip, bringing his hand up her knocked her gently but firmly on the head  
"eyes on your opponent Hel always" he cautioned  
she swung her maul around knocking him in the stomach into the flower bush nearby. he shook his head to bring sense back into the things and stared up at her, a feeling of pride swelling in his chest.   
"i see you" she said softly.  
he let out a light chuckle.

_ Wounded coast Now _

 

  
she had a Tal-Vashoth backed into a corner dodging his blows while dealing a few of her own, her maul had long sense fell out of her hands but she seemed to be doing well without it, she had hidden blades within her armor and she used it to slice any and all Tal-Vashoth that approached her. each of them were dealing with the few Tal-Vashoth left and as Fenris sliced the head off of one he turned to see the one left coming up behind her before he could even think the lyrium within him burned brightly and he ran over blade first and plunging it straight into the Tal-Voshoths chest. they slammed into the wall and although the Tal-vashoth was badly injured he was not dead, he brought his hand back and delivered a quick and powerful punch to Fenris' face,he reacted to by punching the man in the face then, head butting him. he fell to the ground and Fenris pulled his blade out of his chest and dragged it slowly across his throat.   
"what the fuck!" a loud voice shouted in his direction, he turned to see Hel staring at him, anger burning in her eyes even in this dim light they blazed.   
"what?" Fenris asked   
"i had that one Fenris" she snapped at him  
"he was sneaking up on you"  
"no he wasn't i saw him" she stomped over to her maul and snatched it up  
"hard to believe that when your BACK. WAS. TO. HIM" Fenris responded  
"i had my back i always have my back i don't need you to watch my back you were never good at it"  
he recoiled as if she had physically punched him. Varric stole a glance at Hawke and Anders who in turn looked back at him with wide eyes.   
She was most certainly angry, if she had attempted at all to hide it before she wasn't now.  
"Hel-"  
"don't!" she held her hand up to stop any words that might spill from his mouth "just don't, i don't want hear any explanations, i don't want to hear the reason, they mean noting to me, because all of the i'm sorry's and the i didn't mean to hurt you's don't make the pain go away, or the memories Fenris. you threw me away like the sewage in dark town" Her markings flared bright blue then dimmed quickly " and never looked back. and since then I've had my back"   
He was struck silent, he had nothing to say to that. she had every right to feel that way, every reason for this rage this fury the hate the same hate the tainted his very soul. he just wished it was directed at him.   
"No lets kill this bitch and get it over with" Hel said storming out of the cave, Fenris moved to chase after her but Varric placed a hand on his chest   
"no, let Hawke go, it think Hel needs another women to talk to"  
Fenris nodded in understanding.

Hel stomped away from the cave and it wasn't until she heard Hawke calling behind her did she realize she was going the wrong way, with an exasperated sigh she turned around, angry, angry at Fenris at herself for letting her anger at Fenris show so much, she tried to keep it under control tried to harness it. tried to tell herself her anger was unreasonable, that it wasn't Fenris' fault that it had happened but her anger at Danarius far out fuled her anger for Fenris and she feared that stoking that flame any more would cause an actual fire.   
"Hel wait" Hawke said finally catching up. Hel looked at her feet unable to bring herself to look Hawke in the eyes.   
"I must apologize it was not my intent-"  
"stop" Hawke said softly "Hel, you clearly have a lot of resentment for Fenris"  
Hel sighed, it wasn't  resentment, she wasn't even sure it was hate.   
"there something deeper there" she leaned down trying to force hell to look at her.   
"i told you"  
"yeah Danarius but how does that translate into that amount of anger at Fenris"  
"he left" she was embarrassed by the crack in her voice as she spoke the words.   
"yes Hel he left, he had to leave you understand that right?"  
"yes" he groaned   
"then why all of this anger?"  
"because he left me" she snapped "he just left me there, after..." she turned her face away. "after all that had happened. after, all we had been through. he left and didn't once try to come for me. Danarius punished all of us for what Fenris had done, he nearly killed me...he beat me for a full day. and all he talked about the whole time was Fenris. how impossible it was to replace Fenris, but as he was beating me he noticed how i didn't fight back, i just laid there, and let him do it. and then he said i would be the perfect whipping post. so he replaced Fenris with me. He trained me, from the moment i woke up until i finally passed out from exhaustion for two years and when it was finally over i received these" she pointed to her lyrium scars "as a thank you"   
"what had you been through?" Hawke probed   
"Hawke..."  
"clearly this is something you need to talk about Hel, and not with Fenris, i will listen to you, one of the only ones in this bunch or in all over Kirkwall that will listen and pass no judgment."   
Hel looked around for somewhere to sit, and once she found a rock she waved Hawke over.   
"After Fenris had gotten his markings, after i helped him heal, Darnarius put me under his instruction to learn to fight, we would train in the court yard, we were paraded around like show druffalo, it was worse for Fenris Danarius had him collared and leashed like  serabas, that's how life was for a while Fenris was simply my instructor"  
"then something changed" Hawke cocked an eyebrow  
"everything changed"  
"what happened?"  
"Danarius hosted  one of his parties, a night to feed the senses to show off his luxurious life and his tremendous power over the Imperium."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hel reflects on her years with Danarius and Fenris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first half of this I got the idea from Spartacus season two

** Part Three Tevinter Imperium 14 years ago **

 

  
The music was loud and the room was hot, there were drapes of gold over the walls as Hel stood next to Danarius' throne like chair in the center of all the festivities, other slaves walked around with trays of drink and food. they wore their collars, along with hardly any clothes. the food smelled amazing, and it make Hel's stomach groan with hunger. She kept her eyes on the ground being too afraid what would happen if she had met one of the imperial citizens in the gaze. This particular party was made more for Danarius's closer friends. ones, that shared in his sick desires of the flesh, a group of slaves female and male rolled around on the floor in front of him and an audience that had gathered and simulated different sexual positions and scenarios. For this event both she and Fenris had been leashed and Danarius kept tight hold on them, one in each of his hands, Fenris standing to Danarius' right dressed only in golden breaches, Hel was dressed in a gold top that cut off half way down her stomach and a less that covering gold skirt.  
"My friends" Danarius' voice rang through the halls and the music, along with any movement had stopped. It was well into the night and a certain number of the guests had decided to call it a night, Danarius gathered the attention of the remaining. a sum of about 20 people.  
"I do hope you are enjoying this amazing night that, i like to think of as a feast for the senses, you have filled your belly with food, and dulled your inhibitions with wine, your spirits have been lifted with music. so now i offer you a different sort of delicacy, one to feed your more primal urges. I offer you, Fenris" he tugged the leash and Fenris stumbled forward. the guests eyed him, looking him carefully up and down a strange mix of fear, curiosity and lust in their eyes.  
"For your viewing pleasure, and instead of demonstrating his incredible fighting style how about something a bit more intimate" the guests now crowded around them  
"Pick a slave to be his opponent" Danarius offered the crowd, the men and women looked around curiously, first at the slaves who were already on the floor but quickly dismissed all from there, they looked from each slave around the room until their eyes finally landed on Hel. she sucked in a breath and shot a glance to Fenris who couldn't bring himself to look at her.  
"Have him fuck that one" one of the men pointed. Danarius snaked up to her then yanked her collar, the other slaves scattered away as she stumbled to the floor. she looked up at Fenris who was finally looking at her, a look of regret in his eyes.  
"Begin" Danarius commanded. Fenris crouched down to her, their eyes locked as he placed a hand on her trembling leg.  
"Fen-"  
"shh its okay" he whispered to her.  
she looked around frightened at the guests that peered down at them, she felt Fenris' hand tug gently at her skirt.  
"look at me not them" he whispered to her. she did she turned her head to look at him, his eyes soft and warm even in this situation. Encouraging eyes. she relaxed slightly as he pushed her onto her back and placed a soft kiss on her stomach, she inhaled sharply at the contact. his fingers hooked into the waist of her skirt pulling it down, she brought her hands up to cover her most private parts. blushing horribly and her panic spiking back up.  
"Fenris" she pleaded.  
"its okay" he said unbuckling his breaches and opening them. he laid on top of her, pulling her leg up by the knee.  
"sh" he whispered softly against her ear "if you don't do this, they'll hurt you, i don't want them to hurt you so please" he caressed her leg softly.  
"Fenris, i...i never"  
"i know, i'll try to be gentle." he ran a hand up her body and she couldn't help the shutter than ran through her, it was a mix of something she had never felt before and fear, her body was on fire, Fenris pulled his head back so Their eyes met, his big green eyes boring into hers. he reached a hand between them and guided himself to to her untouched entrance.  
"its okay" he repeated as he slowly entered her meeting almost too much resistance.  
"its okay" he pushed "relax let me in" he told her. she closed her eyes and willed her body to relax but once in the darkness of her own mind, all she saw were the eyes of the Imperium citizens staring down at her.  
"No no" he said softly "look at me, eyes on me, remember never take your eyes off an opponent" he reminded her and her eyes opened to Fenris' face, his beautiful face. she had admitted to herself a long time ago that she found Fenris unbelievably attractive but because of her status as his student, she left the matter at that, he was her teacher and it was natural to have some sort of feeling for someone you looked up to. he pushed again his tip slipping inside of her a little, she gasped at the unfamiliar pressure and the sting front the stretching and Fenris clenched his jaw against the pleasure the sang through him at entering her. she was tight and warm. it took all his strength not to throw caution to the wind and just bury himself inside her, taking what he needed to get off so this could be over but the way she stared up at him the way her eyes looked to him for guidance through this nightmare, for reassurance for...safety, he couldn't  hurt that, couldn't betray that.  
she squirmed beneath him trying to get adjusted to his size.  
"its okay" he said again pushing into her meeting that wall of resistance that was her maiden hood and with a quick thrust of his hips and a squeal of pain from her it ripped away and he was finally able to push himself all the way inside of her. a tear swelled in her eye and fell down her face.  
"i'm sorry i know that hurt."  
"Friends" Danarius' voice stung the air "i do believe young Hel was untouched before that moment, your witnessing a deflowering"  
there was a collective "Awe" from the audience.  
"I've got you" Fenris told her softly as he began to thrust into her, slowly and softly. the pain causing her to jump and whine with each thrust. He stretched her painfully, her nails dug into his flesh as the pain seemed to increase.  
"Fenris" she cried softly "it hurts"  
"i know" his voice sounded strained and he let out a soft moan "i know, i'm sorry let me just"  
he reached a hand between them and found her bud of pleasure rubbing it in small circles with his thumb, the pleasure from that mixed with the pain caused Hel to make a sound she wasn't even sure was actually her.  
"does that help?" he asked  
"mm-hmm" she moaned a little and the pain the was once there faded away to deep and new pleasure. she let out soft moans and noticed Fenris smiled as she seemed to relax around him.  
"fen-" she moaned and lifted her hips to meet his thrusts. her tongue wetting her newly dried lips.  
"that's it" he encouraged her his thrusts increased in force and speed  
"Creators" she moaned and her back arching. Fenris took that opportunity to kiss her neck and run his hand up her body to cup her breast. he growled softly against her skin.  
"Hel" he purred "i'm sorry i cant...hold back" his voice shaking. she fell back as he made a finally rough thrust into her, burying himself deep within her, she felt his cock twitch within her his eyes closing and face straining mouth hung open, he came deep within her shooting hot ropes of cum into her. when he opened his eyes the way he looked at her took her breath away. without a word he brought his lips down onto her, hard and fast. she barely had time to react before he pulled away and pulled out of her, she was still laying on the ground panting when Danarius spoke again.  
"what a show" he cheered, his guest clapped at his words "Fenris surely is skilled don't you agree"  
Hel pulled herself up off the floor snatching up her skirt. the soreness between her legs screaming at her. she retook her place at Danarius' side and avoided looking at Fenris for the remainder of the night.

However the next morning, as they practiced in the courtyard Fenris brought it up  
"if i hurt you i apologize"  
"no" she shook her head to reassure him "no you didn't...hurt me"  
"that's a relief, i know i can be..."  
"Fenris don't please"  
"but you were--" he started  
"i know, and well better lose it to you then have it forcibly taken from me by one of Danarius' friends. he told me he was saving it as a gift for one of them, i dreaded that i guess you protected me from a horrible fate" she stated before charging him with her maul he stepped out of the way but at last minute changed her footing and brought the maul across the her middle and smashing it into his back, he stumbled forward but he hooked his arm around her neck spinning her into his body and holding her in a head lock  
"i will always protect you" he told her  
"why?"  
"because we understand each other." he explained "i am an outcast to the slaves here too" he released her "for being Danarius' pet, they believe me too good for them, so they turn their shoulders and avoid me, i too am alone but since i met you, i feel like i have gained a friend."  
she smiled "you watch my back and ill watch yours" she agreed.

** Wounded Coast now **

  
"wait...so let me get this straight you and Fenris..." Hawke asked with wide eyes  
"just that one time" Hel explained "but it...it made us closer, and we were never ever really parted then, it was as we agreed i watch his back and he watch mine. Danarius realized the benefit of having two body guards so sometimes i even got to go with them when they traveled but then they traveled to Saharon, Danarius was great man of power and Magisters thought his presence there would bring comfort to the Tevinter citizens who lived there. it was horrible there without him, the other guards knocked me around, the slaves all but exiled me. i was...so alone, but i was also hopeful. i knew when they returned, when Fenris returned it wouldn't be so" she looked up to stifle tears that had collected in her eyes "lonely" she finished, with sniffle she continued  
"but he didn't come back...Danarius came back but Fenris didn't..."  
"and because Fenris had escaped Danarius turned to you" Hawke nodding in understanding  
"after a year of training, i got the markings...the pain..." she winced at the memory. "i kept waiting, hoping Fenris would come back to save me and protect me like he had promised me, but he never did. the sadness turned into anger and the anger is consuming my soul."  
"oh Hel" Hawke sighed "i am so sorry. no one deserves that"

Hel hoped of the rock and straightened herself bringing the maul over her shoulder.

"i escaped and so now i'm okay" Hel slapped on a practiced smile "now lets go a squish Hadiana like the little nug she is."  
Hawke smiled knowing this was all she'd get from the girl at this point she had to earn a bit more trust to find out anymore about her or Fenris' past.

Getting through the cave was easier than one would have suspected facing only a few skeletons and one trap, they'd made it through completely unaffected which was not what any of them had expected considering who they were after. But after talking to the slave girl that Hawke decided to hired, they learned Hadriana was still there and was gathering her defenses. when the slave girl, Orana she said her name what, ran off to find Hawke's estate in Kirkwall, they carried on, Hadriana had both guards and demons waiting for them when they had finally found her, almost endless amounts of them, Hawke was quickly dispatching the shades while Varric and Anders worked on the guards but Hadriana was left for Fenris and Hel, each time Fenris sliced at the snake, Hel would follow through with a strong swing from her Maul, they were completely in sync, knew exactly when to get out of each others way, when Fenris delivered a deep wound to Hadriana's belly Hel brought her Maul to her face and knocked her completely to the other side of the room, they ran up to her.  
Fenris slowly raised his blade over his head for the final blow,  
"stop you do not want me dead" she cried out.  
Fenris paused for a moment "there is only one person i want dead more."  
"i have information Elf and i will trade it in return for my life" she tried to move pushing her self up with her elbows,  
"Pfft the location of Danarius? what good will that do me, i'd rather he loose his pet pupil"  
Hel stood silent by his side, she agreed, they didn't need Danarius' location it was just a matter of time until he came to them and when he did they would be ready.  
"you have a sister, she is alive"  
Fenris' eyes widened and he lowered his weapon a bit, staring down at the magister.  
 _shit_. Hel spat in her mind.  
"you wish to reclaim your life" she pushed herself up on her knees. "Let me go, and i will tell you where she is"  
He slowly sheathed his weapon. Hel looked at him worry behind her eyes. she remember Fenris sister, she knew her from her time as a slave.  
Fenris looked to Hawke  
"This is your call" Hawke informed him,  
Fenris approached her leaning down as if to catch every word spoken.  
"So i have your word, I tell you and you let me go"  
"Yes" he almost growled "you have my word"  
"Her name is Varania" she said quickly "she is in Corenious serving a magister by the name of Aremon"  
the mention of the name made Hel recoil  
"a servant? not a slave?"  
"she is not a slave" Hadriana confirmed  
"i believe you" he said flashing blue and standing up  
Hadriana's eyes widened as Fenris' hand went ethereal and he shoved it into her chest there was a loud squish as he crushed her heart. she fell at his feet. He turned without a second thought  
"We're done here"  
"do you want to talk about it?" Hawke asked  
"No! i don't to talk about it" he snapped, Hel coming to Hawke's side as if to protect her from Fenris' words. "This could be trap, Danarius could have sent Hadriana here to tell me about this sister" he said throwing a glance at the woman's lifeless body. "Even if he didn't, trying to find her would be suicide"  
Hel sighed as she knew that there was truth to that but not as much as he thought it would be.  
"Danarius has to know about her and has to know that, Hadriana knows"  
He looked at Hadriana "But all that matters is i finally got to crush this bitch's heart" He turned "May she rot and all the other mages with her" hearing the anger the furry and the hurt in his voice, Hel couldn't fight herself from speaking.  
"Fenris, maybe we should go" she said touching his shoulder, actually touching his shoulder, she'd forgotten how warm his skin was.  
"No" he said turning from her touch as if it burned him. "i don't want you comforting me" He turned his gaze to her and pinned her in place with its intensity.  
"You saw what was done here, there's always going to be some reason, some excuse why mages need to do this. Even if i found my sister who knows what the magisters have done to her, look what they did to you" he motioned to her. "what has magic touched that it doesn't spoil."  
"I..." he rubbed his forehead and turned away as if realizing what he'd just done "need to go" he left the slave cave. Hel looked at Hawke who gave her a sympathetic smile  
"well...wheres he going?" Hel asked  
"i don't know. Might be at the hanged man"  
"wouldn't think you'd care with how much you hated him" Anders mentioned.  
"i don't..." she looked at Hawke, "i don't hate him..." she turned to stare at the direction in which Fenris had left. this was too much even for her, and she knew whether or not Fenris actually had a sister, but for him, to not know, it must be agony. She couldn't be mad, she couldn't hate that. it twisted her stomach.  
"He'll turn up, he always does."

Hel stayed in the hanged man a little longer than usual and looked a little to casually to see if the snow haired Elf had finally made his way back from wherever he was, she didn't care that he went, she just wanted to know he wasn't dead. when he didn't show up, she told herself the worry in her stomach was what any normal being would do. He was an important part of the team Hawke had assembled, she wouldn't want her to loose a member of that team. When she left she was almost tempted to walk up to hightown, she had followed slavers enough times to know which mansion was his in high town, but decided against it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are heating up :3

Part Four

Going back to his home with Hadriana's blood still fresh on his hands was a hollow victory as Hel's voice rang through his memory. she blamed him for all of it, for every horrible thing that was done to her, She wasn't wrong, he thought to himself as he released the straps of his armor and it clattered in the entry way. It was his fault but that doesn't change the fact that he needed to get away. He had to run, there was no other choice, he couldn't bring himself to return to a life as Danarius' puppet. But in doing so, she was subjected to his treatment, leashed constantly, gawked at and Danarius' body guard in more ways than one. why, he looked at his hands and the lyrium that lined him, why she was stained like he was. there would no argument with his conscience tonight he went straight to the seller and grabbed a bottle of wine. sitting in front of the fire in his bedroom there was no fighting the memories that flooded back to him. 

Hel stomped through Dark town, she'd grown accustom to the horrid smell of both the sewage and the people who lived in it. she walked around for a while as things settled and merchants that worked down there packed up their wares and went home for the night, she made her way to her hide out which was more like a whole in the wall, she wasn't very good at the life on the run thing but she knew that staying out of sight meant that no one could describe her, or her whereabouts to any Tevinter Slavers, Fenris was a good at hiding, after her escape she ran, as fast as her feet could carry her as far as she could and didn't look back, trusting no one and staying under a thick black cloak she had stolen from a women on a ship to Fareldan. Once there she'd asked around about him, perhaps he had been through the town she was traveling in but to no avail, with the alienages in the city no one would notice another elf, even if he did have tattoos but after a while she learned to listen to the slavers, stay in the shadows but fallow them around eventually one was bound to hear of a elf slave with tattoos and once she did she fallowed those slavers, to Kirkwall. The wounded coast. She was pulled from her memories when she realized that thugs had surrounded her. About 8 of them all in a circle around her.   
"well" one of them sneered "look what we got here boys"   
the others smiled as they clutched their weapons   
"pretty lady whose going to give us all her coin" another one called. Hel sighed as she unlatched her maul from her back.   
"oh little lady wants to tussle"  
"can we stop the chit chat and you can just disappointment like all men do with your performance." she remarked, it appeared that, that little snare at incompetence struck the wrong nerve in the leader.   
"very accurate assumption i see"  
"Gut the bitch" he barked, and they ran her from all sides, with a flash of her marks she was able to almost glide and phase through the one to her right and struck him on the back of his head with the hilt of her maul, she spun on the ball of her left foot and brought the maul around to smash another in the face, when she felt the sharp sting of a blade being plunged into her stomach she glowed a violent blue, she dropped her maul and took out a dagger, then pulling the one in her stomach from the wound and using both to slice him across the throat. another punched her in the face and she flew backward. hitting the ground so hard it knocked the wind out of her lungs. another was on her in a minute, his bade plunging into the shoulder with a loud cry she kicked him off of her, while she tried to get the blade out another ran to her but she quickly dispatched him with a quick kick to he face flipping her body so she was once again standing, she rushed forward activating the lyrium scars on her hand turning her hand ethereal like and thrusting it into the leaders chest his heart racing in her hand and she looked him in the eye as she crushed the organ in his hand. After seeing that, the last two of the thugs scurried away their tails between their legs. Once alone she groaned from the pain radiating through her body. She choked on a cry as she finally pulled the blade from her shoulder. As she clutched her stomach she realized she was wounded pretty badly. She'd been hurt like this before on her travels from Tevinter but often times she was traveling with someone and usually it was a mage to heal her wound. She stumbled through dark town making her way up to low town and will herself to stay conscious as she stumbled living droplets of crimson blood in her wake. 

He'd just shut his eyes he'd thought, just fallen asleep then suddenly his eyes shot open, his heart racing from a loud banging on his mansion door, he snatched his sword reflexively and slowly moved through the mansion. by the time he made it to the door the banging had grown softer and as he yanked it open, Hel crashed through landing on the ground at his feet, it took him a minute to process what he was looking at but once he did.   
"Hel!" he picked her up her body limp in his arms, her armor covered in blood, she was mumbling something that he couldn't quiet understand.   
"Hel! Hel what happened? Hel can you hear me?" he tapped her face gently as he laid her on the desk in the main room.   
"Fen-" her voice was barely a whisper "....D-Darktown" her eyes rolled "...thugs"   
"was there a mage"  
"no... stabbed" she motioned to her stomach and he could visibly see the wound on her shoulder.   
"Alright." he covered her with a blanket he had in front of the fire place. "I'm going to go get help hold on alright hold on" He raced from his mansion to Hawke's that wasn't that far away, he knew that damned mage would be there and he didn't have time to be unreasonably angry about it.   
he could hear her angry muttering as she made her way to the door but seeing Fenris covered in Hel's blood shut her up pretty quick.   
"its Hel" was all he needed to say for Hawke to call Anders who stumbled up to the door dressed only in his breaches.   
"please Hel needs help" Fenris begged. Pfft he never thought he'd have to beg the mage for anything but based on the severity of her wounds he knew this was something only magic could heal, within seconds Anders was running behind Fenris staff in hand as they made their way back to Fenris' mansion, Hel was coughing blood spilling from her mouth. Fenris ran over to her, holding her by the shoulder his heart pounding so hard he feared it would jump out of is chest.   
"Hel can you hear me?" Anders asked checking the wounds. she didn't respond just convulsed violently on the table.   
"Damn" Anders spat.   
"what?" Hawke quested biting her nail.   
"the blade, it was poisoned." he reached into the bag he had brought with him and pulled out a green vile.   
"Hold her head steady" he told Fenris and he cupped her cheeks and tiled her head back, Anders poured the potion into her mouth, within a few seconds the convulsion stopped and her body relaxed, his hand created a misty blue magic the poured into her mouth her nose and her eyes, Anders closed his eyes and hovered his free hand over the wound on her belly, the skin slowly threading back together and the wound healing, Hel's face showed a bit more relief as the bigger wound was healed and Anders worked on her shoulder.   
"do you know what happened?" Anders asked.   
"she said she was in dark town" Fenris explained "and she was attacked by thugs. she wasn't able to tell me much more than that."  
"if you hadn't come to get me she would have died." Anders explained. Fenris didn't say anything just pressed his hands together to keep his anger and frustration under control.   
"Fenris why don't you and me step outside while he works." Hawke offered.   
"It would help me out a bunch" Anders stated "wouldn't want him to whiteness me Maging about"  
Fenris almost said something but instead pushed himself up and followed Hawke outside.   
"she doesn't hate you ya'know" Hawke said after a few minutes of standing outside in awkward silence.  
"what" Fenris asked as he paced   
"she doesn't hate you" Hawke repeated "she's angry, she hurt and very very damaged but she doesn't hate you."  
"i find that very hard to believe"  
"would you hate her if she had done that to you?"  
"of course i would, i told her i'd protect her and then i left her,with that monster, i left and i never looked back and didn't take a second to think about what kind of punishment, she or the other slaves would get because of it" he pointed toward the door "he branded her. he stained her the same way he stained me with these filthy markings"  
"Fenris she knows you had no other choice"  
"i had plenty of choices" he ran his fingers through his hair. "i just chose the easiest"  
"nothing about what you told me about your escape to freedom was easy"  
"compared to hers, it appears that way" he finally leaned against the wall and let out a long breath.  
"do you know how she escaped?"  
he shook his head.   
"maybe thats something you two should talk about. That anger has to come from more than just being left behind, talk to her, you two have alot of catching up to do."  
Fenris let out a light chuckle. "she was such a fast learner" Fenris smiled  
"what?"  
"i trained Hel and she was such a quick learner, after we grew closer she followed me around like a little puppy. she'd walk like i did, when we ate dinner she would only take a bite when i took one. there were even a few times where she couldn't sleep unless she was curled up at my side."  
"that's sweet" Hawke cooed.   
"the look on her face when Danarius said he wasn't bring her to Saharon almost made me not go, and i have never put up a fight to Danarius, i went where he told me when he told me the second he told me and didn't think twice, but as we sailed out of port and she stood there with the other guards i" he sighed "i didn't want to leave her."  
they heard the mansion door swing open and Anders come out wiping blood off his hands.   
"she needs rest and lots of it, she'd been bumming in the alleys of dark town and that's not good for her."  
"she'll stay here" Fenris stated   
"does she know that?" Hawke asked   
"i'll tell her when she wakes up."  
"it may take while. just let her rest" Anders said before wrapping an arm around Hawke's shoulder and they turned and made their way back to her mansion. Fenris went back into his and saw Hel laying almost lifeless on the desk, if it wasn't for the soft rise and fall over chest he would have thought that she was dead. He pushed his arm under her knees and wrapped his other around her shoulder and picked her up, making his way up to the bedroom and laying her down on his bed. she made a soft purring noise as he pulled the covers over her body.   
"I'm sorry" he said softly "i know you told me you don't want to hear it but i need to say, need to let you know that i am sorry, and if i could i would change it and take you with me i would, but i" he leaned on the bed and watched her calm face, stained with her own blood.   
"i just...i need...i..." he groaned frustrated at his inability to accurately articulate his feelings. "i'm sorry" he gave up after searching his mind for the words after finding nothing. He turned on his heels and walked toward the door needing a drink so badly it almost hurt. 

 

Waking up in the cold darkness of the unfamiliar room made Hel's heart pound, sitting up she rubbed her eyes and looked around, this wasn't her little hole in dark town, feeling the warm blankets and looking around at all the broken furniture in the room and the dim fire in the fire place, she remember the events that took place earlier that night, checking her belly and shoulder for any sign of a wound she sighed with relief when she found none, then she remembered how she had stumbled her way to Fenris' mansion, she knew no one in the city and all the mages were in the circle, her only chance was to find Fenris, He'd have to help, he owed her that much. she looked around, her armor had been taken off, her boots were next to the bed and her maul was leaning against a wall. she needed to leave, she didn't need the awkward stares when he had woken up in the morning. picking up her shoes and armor knowing that wearing them as she left would most certainly cause noise, which would alert him of her departure, and if he asked her to stay like he did the other night she wasn't sure if she'd be able to say no again. Darktown was disgusting and smelly. she didn't like it down there one bit. with her Maul over her shoulder she made her way down the steps and as she did she saw a fire burning in another room and she knew Fenris would be within, heading toward the front entry she cracked the door open, but a strong hand slamming against it slammed the door wide open pushing her back a few inches her belongings falling out of her hands and in the dimness of the street lanterns she saw about 8 armed men staring down at her,  
"There she is" Hel went to reach for her Maul but they grabbed her forcing her arms behind her back and tying her hands together she let out a small scream before the gagged her with a cloth.   
"Take her to the ship" The leader ordered handing her to to two men, the rest carried on inside, she tried to scream, try to warn Fenris. she knocked over as many things as she could to try to alert him but wasn't sure if he'd heard anything. 

A soft yelp was all he heard but it was enough to jerk him out of his sleep, it might be Hel she might be conscious and she might be trying to move and is in too much pain, he raced to the door of his study throwing it open and rushing out only to be struck on the back of the head with something hard and blunt, as he thudded to the ground he heard deep laughter.   
"Tie 'em up boys we have coin to collect."  
Hel was his last conscious though as he was struck again and sent plunging into darkness. 

She was crouched into a small corner in the prison holding in the bottom of the ship, they had traded the ropes for iron chains and allowing her hands to be in front of her this time. They'd gotten her, she was wrong ,Danarius came for them and they hadn't been ready , she wanted to put up so much more of a fight than that. she leaned her head against the wall as her heart pounded, she knew only death awaited her back in Tevinter and this boat would soon be quickly carrying her off to it. The the heavy metal door swung open and two slavers appeared she backed herself further into the corner. then Fenris was tossed into the prison, his the ground so hard his head bounced, his eyes were closed and she wasn't quite sure if he was breathing.   
"Now be good little slaves and stay quiet" one slaver said   
when they closed the door Hel ran over to Fenris. rolling him onto his back to see if he was breathing, when she saw his chest rising and falling she let out a shaky sigh of relief.  
"Fenris" she tapped the side of his face but got no response. "Fenris" she shook him still to no avail "Fenris please" she whimpered "please...i..i don't know what to do, wake up..." she shook him harder this time, she needed him to wake up. not entirely wanting to admit to herself that she'd feel a lot safer if he were wake. she felt like the frightened slave child she used to be, her body shook her heart and mind raced as she looked around trying to look for weaknesses in the jail cell, and even if she found one how would she get both her and unconscious Fenris to freedom. She was lost. And scared, hugging herself she sat back and watched Fenris breathing, remembering how calming that used to feel back in Tevinter, when she'd found herself sneaking into his bed for comfort, nights she was plagued with nightmares. his breath on her neck, it had always calmed her to sleep. slowly she crawled over to him, her chains dragging along the ground as she did. she grabbed his arm laid next to him and pulled his arm over her waist, his body turning and pressing again her. His soft breathing hit the back of her neck and almost instantly she calmed closed her eyes and listened, Listened to Fenris' breathing, listened to the creaking of the ship, listened to the sound of the waves smashing against it. and soon she found herself drifting off to sleep. 

Fenris woke to the feeling of something warm and solid against him, a deep dull pain radiating from the back of his head and chains around his wrist something he never thought he'd see again. looking around he saw that he was in a cell, and Hel was curled up next to him. She was asleep. how had they gotten like that. he wasnt sure if she was awake to see this she would punch him clear across the face. He pushed himself up and she stirred at his movements. sitting up as well, rubbing her eyes, an action he found oddly adorable, then she looked at him, her eyes becoming wide, then scooted away,  
"Your awake" she uttered   
"As are you" he stretched and groaned at the pain in his head. "where are we?" he asked.   
"i'm not sure."  
"How long have we been here?" he stood up and began to look around the holding cell.   
"since late last night, maybe really early this morning it was hard to tell."  
"do you know what time of day it is now."  
"i can see a little bit of the sun from a crack in the ship based on its position, its about four hours past midday"  
"do you know in which direction we're traveling?"  
"no"  
"where are you looking through the ship?"  
"here"she pointed to a small crack in the side,  
"we're going North East in the direction of Tevinter"  
"Shit"  
"Indeed" Fenris agreed looking at her.   
"What do we do?" she asked   
"i do not know, i need time to think" he sat on the other side of the room against the wall. She felt awkward as she stood there staring at him   
"I am sorry" he said after a while   
"sorry? for what?"  
"if you had not been at my mansion they may not have found you."  
"Or had i not been at your mansion they might not have found you" she said "i'm an Fugitive too,"  
"I know but you seem to hide very well, hanging out with Hawke for so long has made me a bit less than conspicuous. "  
"she does have bit of the reputation doesn't she?"Hel chuckled   
Fenris smiled and nodded.   
"Hel..." the tone of his voice made her stomach drop "how did you escape?"  
as if he'd hit her she turned away and groaned. Forcing the tear that had risen at the memory away.  
"Please...tell me"  
"why Fenris why does it matter to you"  
"because it matters to you" he stated   
"you have no right to ask me that"  
"Hel"  
"its none of your sodding business Fenris!"  
"you made it my business when you blamed me for everything"  
"I don't blame you for everything"  
"you do" he stood up then "if i hadn't ran away Danarius wouldn't have turned to you, those markings would not be burned into your skin, and the wide eyed girl that i taught the art of fighting would be standing here instead of her emotionless shell"  
she stared at him dumbfounded. her mouth hung open in a silent gasp, and then quickly brought her hand up to smack him across the face.   
"Bastard" she breathed he flared bright blue and gripped her arms slamming her into the wall of the ship his eyes burning with frustration.   
she stared back with the same intensity unwilling to back down.   
"That girl is dead" she said plainly.   
"and you act as if i am the one who put the blade in her chest."  
"no" she shook her head, he saw tears swell in her eyes "you just gave Danarius the sword to end her."  
The anger faded from his eyes a bit.   
"you have to forgive me" he said   
"i dont have to do anything." she stated.   
"YOU DO!" he slamed on the wall so hard it cracked under his fist, she jumped and her eyes widened with panic.   
"Oy!" one of the slavers on deck shouted " keep it down you lot, or we'll come down there and shut you up"   
Fenris looked at her then with one tug of his hand she was sent flying out of the room, she landed with a loud thug and a oof! as she hit the floor.  
"wh-what the hell?!" she stood up only to be tackled by him again, they fell to the ground where they grappled, she struck him in the face balling her first and slamming it into him over and over. He gripped her hand banging it on the ground, her shackle clanging loudly as he did so.   
"Get off of me" she shouted she landed blow after blow and Fenris continued to try and retrain her hands.   
"Hey!" a slaver shouted behind them as he unlocked the metal door to the cell. he stepped in, another slaver following quickly tearing them apart it wasn't until the other slaver picked her up of the ground did she understand the reason for Fenris' attack, and as if on cue she turned and kneed the slaver in the crotch and when he was dubbed over in pain she grabbed his weapon and sliced his head off, when she turned to Fenris who had just finished dispatching the slaver that had grabbed him,He reached into the dead mans pocket and retrieved the keys to their shackles, after freeing himself then her, he then pointed up towards the deck, the pressed his index finger to his lips. she nodded and followed him up the steps to the docks, the ship they were on wasn't that big possibly so it could move faster through the water, and it had a crew of only eight men. Hel and Fenris sneaked, hiding behind crates of goods for a slaver to walk by the silently dispatching him, Fenris managed to steal a Bow and Arrows from one of them, they moved up trying to get to the last four, but as Hel was sneaking up he turned and saw her,   
"Just run" Fenris called to her and they both made for the side of the ship.  
"stop them" a slaver called, when they reached the edge of the ship they looked over at the deep blue water. The shore line not to far away.   
"Hel jump"  
"what?" she looked at him   
"jump, and swim to the shore, i'll be right behind you"  
"Fenris" she almost cried   
"jump NOW!"   
at the sound of his scream she took a deep breath and dove off the ship, just before she hit the water she felt a sharp pain in her leg, when she reached the surface she saw that the slavers had their archers shooting at them, she whined with pain but chose to ignore it, She began to swim towards the shore line, the pain in her leg becoming unbearable but she continued to swim. she hear Fenris behind her and as she reached the shore line she pulled herself up on the soft sands and gasped for air, Fenris fell to his knees beside her, his white hair dripping wet. His shirt was also soaked and clung to his body silhouetting his muscled chest and abs.a bag clutched in his hand. when he opened his big green eyes they scanned her and rested on her lower leg.   
"Oh shit" he said reaching for her, she looked down and saw an arrow straight through her leg just above her ankle.   
"shit" she cried out the pain rushing back to her now that the adrenaline had worn off.   
"we have to get it out"  
"Get it out" she choked "get it out get it out"  
"okay okay just" he put his hands up as if afraid to touch her. "just...don't move"  
her touched her leg and she cried out with pain. Her gripped the arrow forcing himself to ignore her cries. He snapped of the head of it.   
"okay...Hel this will hurt."  
"Get it out!" her voice was shrill  
He lifted her leg and got a firm grip on the feathered end on the arrow and ripped it from her leg, she cried out and reached for her leg rolling onto her side.   
"I know" he said caressing her head "i know i know it hurts" he quickly ripped off the long sleeve of his tunic and tied it around the wound to stop the blood flow.   
"Hel can you walk we need to move, do you need me to carry you?"  
"i can walk...j-just help me up"  
He pulled her up by the arm and they made their way up the beach and into the grassy wood like area, they had about a three day walk back to Kirkwall by the look of it. they walked through the forest area until night fell and Hel finally fell to her knees exhausted.  
"we can rest here for the night" he explained as he helped her lean against a tree. he reached into the bag and found a bed roll laying it out on the ground.   
"lay over here alright"  
she nodded to exhausted to fight him, and crawled to the bedroll, now that the sun had set the temperature had dropped and she shivered still damp from the sea.   
"Ill be right back" he whispered to her, then walked away, he was gone for about five minutes before he was back, he rustled around for a few minutes in the dark and then soon before her a small fire was blazing.   
"that should help" he said before going completely quiet, Hel was so exhausted from the moving, from the running and from the pain that she was asleep before she could even think about it. 

When she awoke in the morning, her body aching from the excretion of the previous day, the sun light burning her eyes, she groaned and rolled onto her side, taking in her surroundings, trees taller than any she had seen before, and soft grass beneath her, the fire that Fenris had set the previous night had long sense burned out, and she looked around for the man, she saw him not too far away, with the sword he had stolen from the slavers practicing the sword stances becoming familiar with the weapon. she watched him, the sunlight bathing his tawny skin, his shirt was hanging on a tree branch near by she had assumed he had washed it in the near by river and was letting it dry out. Her eyes wondered his body, his muscles rippling as he clutched the blade and stuck at imaginary foes, his chest heaving and sweat slick on his skin, his lips turned up into a snarl, he was so animalistic.   
She sat up and he took notice to her movements stopping his practice and staring at her.   
"You are awake" he lowed his weapon.   
"you ability of observation never cease to amaze me Fenris"  
"Yes well," he said walking over "i wasn't always the talking type"  
"suppose not, maybe you would have told me you were planning to leave me"  
"Hel"   
"I'm sorry" she said with a sigh frustration boiling in her brain "look i don't...care about that right now, the fact of the matter is..." she looked around holding her hands out to their surroundings. "I'm lost...i don't know what to do, I've never been in a situation like this before and i'm scared. Your my only chance of getting back to Kirkwall. So until then, i have to trust you."  
Fenris stayed quiet for a moment, contemplating what she had just said and thought carefully before he spoke again.   
"as i said before i have never been the best at explaining myself." He stepped closer to her "But i need you to understand one thing" he forced eye contact with her, "If there had been any way, at all to take you with me without risking both our lives. i would have come for you"   
"Ya know....i almost believe you " she said with a smile.   
"well" he returned with a smirk of his own "that's a start." He stood up and offered a hand to her, "come i don't recall training you in the art of the sword, let us see what you know"  
"Really?" she asked "here? now?"  
"we are going to have to carve our way back to Kirkwall Hel, there will be Bandits, slavers, assassins people coming to either capture us for coin or kill us for coin and i need to know you can properly defend yourself, so right here , and now, yes now get up" his voice reminded her of the time she as under his instruction back in tevinter, the big scary wolf voice, the voice that scared her down to her bones every time he used it.   
she rolled her eyes and groaned "I hate it when you get all commander on me" she grabbed his hand and let him pull her to her feet, hissing in pain as she landed a little to hard on her injured leg.   
"I apologize" he said "i had forgotten..." he looked down at her injured leg "How does it feel?"  
"it hurts like mad lets practice" she said gripping her own stolen sword.   
He got into a fighting stance and attacked her, she quickly taking a defensive stance, their swords colliding and his having a bit of a recoil. he hadn't expected her defense to be so strong, she took that opportunity in which he was staggered, to kick him in chest he fell backward and she pressed her offensive, bring the sword down in diagonal motion, as if to remove his head from his shoulders. He made a quick move to the left the dodge the attack, she immediately twisted to spin around and swing the sword through her middle. when that was blocked by Fenris' blade they began trading blows their swords clinking and clanging as they collided and slid against each other, when Hel got Fenris backed between a tree and her blade he smiled brightly.   
"Very good, seems i didn't need to teach you"  
"i taught myself" she said pulling her sword back "i prefer the maul because i like to smash things like a nug"  
"when did you become so twisted"  
"somewhere in Orlais" she waved her hand.   
"you have been to Orlais?" he questioned.   
"yes i wasn't there for long, stowed away on a ship, but i was able to take refuge in a brothel, the ladies there protected me. surprisingly it always smelled good in the place"  
they shared a laugh before it grew awkwardly quiet between them.   
"are you hungry?" Fenris proposed.  
"starving" she breathed  
"we'll have to hunt, your Dalish you should be good at that." he said   
"i was taken by slavers before i was old enough to be taught how."  
"Very well, i shall teach you" he walked over to the bow and arrows he had stolen from the slavers and turned to her, "come" she limped following him deep into a brush. he crouched down hiding in the thick bushels that were all around them, it was peacefully silent around them and when they heard a soft rustle he paused, which caused her to pause in return, he readied an arrow and paused, listening. another rustle and he turned pointing the arrow to the left and fired the shot, their was a pained groan and then silence, he hurried toward the sound Hel following closely behind them soon the came upon a wounded Halla, she grasped and nearly cried,   
"oh no" she dropped to her knees looking at the arrow in its side,  
"Fenris..."  
"i know, but this is why we will give thanks to mythal, and return the creature to the earth," He said pulling out a dagger and finishing the Halla off.   
"We thank you for this creature" he sliced the animal up the belly "and return it to the earth"  
she let out a shaky breath, what choice did they have, it was either eat the Halla or die from starvation. once Fenris had removed the none edible parts he hoisted it over his shoulder.   
"Alright lets go" he began to walk back to camp. she limped behind him. 

Everything about Halla tasted wrong, the flavor the texture or the smell, she never wanted to eat another Halla again, she'd spend the rest of her life begging for Mythal's forgiveness for this. When she finished eating Fenris offered her some water he had managed to get and began packing up their camp.   
"We should move on" was all he said as he hoisted the pack over his shoulder.   
"right" she nodded standing up. she stood up and used her sword almost like a cane as they walked.   
"how did you survive all this time on the run without knowing how to hunt?" he questioned   
"I'm good at picking pockets, and too small for anyone to notice, once i even stuffed a pillow in the shirt and pretended to be a dwarf, its amazing how quickly people stop talking to you once you tell them your afraid your going to fall into the sky"  
"i suppose that does sound strange to those born on the surface" he stated.   
"did you teach yourself, sword before or after?" he asked   
"Before, i started training with the others guards and just copy what they did eventually i got the hang of it"  
"you always were a quick learner" he said   
"i suppose."

Luckily for them, they had only run into a few bandits during their travels and when they had made it much further than Fenris thought they would even traveling with an injured person he decided it would be best the set up camp and rest. she wouldn't say anything he knew it but Hel's leg was killing her, and she needed to be off of it. Once he laid out the bed roll he began to cook some of the Halla he saved from hunting, watching her across the small fire, she looked over her wound, her red hair was a mess and had sticks and leaves in it, her face was dirty and stained with blood as were her hands, her clothes were torn and dirty, but when she looked up at him, he had to gasp because he had never seen a women look so beautiful. Her bright eyes reflecting the burning fire light.   
"what?" she asked curiously   
"oh uh" he said returning his attention to roasting the halla "nothing" he cleared his thoughts.   
"you were clearing thinking something so out with it." she said  
"i uh..." he was unwilling to admit his finding her beautiful and in attempt to avoid the topic he simply said "i was wondering how you escaped"  
she shuffled leaning on her arm, her head leading toward the side. "why does that matter so much to you?"  
"i already told you...because it matters to you"   
"tell me how you escaped first." she offered.   
"you know how i escaped"  
"i want to hear it from you" she stated.   
"this would be easier with wine" he joked  
"isn't everything?" she smiled   
"alright...You have heard of Saharon" he asked, she returned with a nod   
"the Imperium and the Qunari fought over the island for centuries now, i was there with Danarius during a Qunari attack, i Managed to get him to a ship but there was no room for a slave, i was left behind. I barely managed to get out of the city alive" her head snapped up straight at that and she looked at him curiously, she was told he simply refused to get on the ship,   
"i thought" she shook her head in disbelief "I thought Danarius considered you valuable"  
He laughed a bit "He wasn't giving a choice, the look on his face as the ship pulled out was priceless." he smiled. "there were rebels in the Saharon Jungles called Fog warriors, they found me and took me in, Nursed me back to health , i stayed with them for a while, until Danarius came back to get me."  
"were you with these Fog warriors willingly?" she asked   
"I'd...Grown fond of the rebels, they bowed to no master and fought for their freedom it was beyond my experience." he looked down at his hands. "when Danarius came they refused to let him take me" he took a deep breath, "He ordered me to kill them, so i did, i...killed them all" he leaned forward and looked down at his hands.   
"why would you do such a thing" Hel asked her eyes wide with shock.   
"it felt inevitable, my master had returned and this...this fantasy life was over."  
she nodded in understanding.  
his eyes turned dark and his face looked pained "but once it was done, i looked down at their bodies, i felt...i couldn't...i ran and never looked back"  
"never?" she asked  
"i couldn't think about it Hel, i knew that going back for you would have put us both at risk...i couldn't take that chance" he ran a hand through his hair, "will you tell me now?" he asked.   
Hel sat up straightening herself.   
"After i was upgraded to Lyrium lined monster, Danarius got a new sort of respect for himself, it revolved solely around me, the way the Imperial women stared at you, is the same way their men stared at me" she let out a shaking breath "the only difference it they actually asked for me... and Danarius began to rent me out...for protection, or to keep a Magisters bed warm, he found good money in it..."  
"that bastard" Fenris spat.  
"one night, he rented me to..one of his friends, Danarius had forced me to lie with him before and he was so much..." she choked on a breath "rougher...more mean...than danarius" she sniffled "and Danarius gave me to him...for a full night... when i arrived at the magisters manor, he took me into a room underneath his house, there were maybe 10 guards down there." she dropped her head into her hands "and he sat in a chair and watched as they..." her voice broke  
"Hel..." Fenris breathed out  
"ya know i think..." she raised her head again. tears were streaming down her face, "i think that's when my anger at you starting because that was the first time since your escape that i called for you, i screamed your name at the top of my lungs praying to the creators that you would burst through that door and take me away from the groping hands and hot breath"  
He moved closer to her, he wanted to touch her, something anything to comfort her.   
"I called for you as one after another crawled on top of me, but you never came. and by the fifth one i couldn't take it anymore, something...snapped and i killed them, all of them...including the magister"  
"you killed a magister in his own home?"  
"i don't even remember doing it" she said on a cry "i just remember looking down at all the dead bodies and thinking, i'm dead...i'm dead..." she said her eyes glued to the ground as if she were staring at the dead bodies then. "i knew if i stayed i'd be killed, so i took as much coin as i could from the magsters house and before dawn i payed my way to Orlais." she said "I've been on the run every since"  
"Hel...if i had known"  
"i know" she said more tears streaming down her face "I know, hearing how you escaped from you...i get it...you couldn't take me with you...not that you didn't want to, because your escape...it wasn't a choice you made, i get it you couldn't..."  
"Hel", she looked up at him.   
"To be honest..." her voice was soft "i...I've missed you so much" she almost broke at the words crashing into his open arms. her body shaking under the strain of her cries. he pulled in tightly to his chest. she clutched his arm tight. He relished the feeling her against him, even like this. just the contact...for once being touched didn't hurt.   
"i'm sorry, i will protect you now, i promise, i will do what ever i can to keep you safe"  
"I got your back..." she sniffled and looked up at him "you got mine?"  
"yes" he nodded and touched the side of her face. "i got your back you got mine."   
Her smile was weak and barely there, Fenris stared into her eyes for a long moment and wondered if they had always been to vibrantly blue, had her cheeks always been so delicate and sculpted had her skin always been so beautifully golden. Had her lips always been so plump and soft looking, his gaze lingered on her lips for a long moment, when he felt her shake against him he was pulled from his thoughts. he released her and then scooted back a few inches. he cleared his throat and turned back to the fire.   
"Shit" He growled  
"what?" Hel asked   
"i burned the Halla"  
"oh no" Hel said trying but failing to sound as if it actually was a problem.   
"Its food women" he shouted at her and it made her giggle. as he fumbled around with the Halla she watched in amazement, it was almost as if he were being intentionally goofy with the way he handled the burnt meat and with the pouting face he was making, either way it made her laugh, and she hadn't laughed in a long time.


End file.
